1: Lily and the Trollies
“Is it just me Grandma, or do they do it to everyone?” asked Lily
“Well – that depends on who they are and what it is they are doing Dear” answered Grandma, looking over her glasses at Lily as she knitted Lily’s Christmas present.
“The Trollies, Grandma. They wake me up every morning jumping all over my bed and this morning was the earliest ever. You weren’t even up yet!”
“I’m not sure,” said Grandma slowly. “What do these Trolleys look like?”
“Trollies Grandma” corrected Lily “Like in Trolls, but they’re too nice to be called Trolls”.
“Trollies then, what do these Trollies look like?” asked Grandma again.
Lily scrunched up her nose the way she always did when she was trying to find a nice way of saying something impolite. Her Mother always said ‘If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all’.
“Weeell – they’ve got long thick hair that goes down to their feet and I think it must block their ears because they don’t seem to hear when I tell them to stop bouncing on me. Ummm – I’m sure their clothes are very fashionable in Trollie Land but they look odd to me and their skin looks like your old gardening gloves – I don’t think they know about moisturiser yet Grandma. And they must eat lots and drink whisky because they’ve all got tummies just like Uncle Jim’s. And you know how Antonia Plum’s nose doesn’t seem to fit her face? Well – their noses are kind of…”
“Bulbous?” suggested Grandma
“Yes, bowl-bus sounds like the right word” agreed Lily even though she didn’t know what it meant and only hoped it was a niceish word.
“How long have they been jumping on your bed Dear?” asked Grandma.
“Oh – only since just before my sixth birthday. Before that they used to stand under it and push up and down and it felt quite nice until one day they pushed so hard I fell onto the floor and they had to run and hide because Mummy came rushing in to see if I’d hurt myself. But I got the giggles because they look so funny when they run – kind of like Antonia’s little brother Timmy when his nappy is wet and falling down – all waddly kind of. Anyway – after that, they found a way of climbing on to my bed and they jump and jump until I wake up properly and promise to tell them a dream”.
“Tell them a dream?” asked Grandma. “Do you mean tell them what you have dreamt?”
“No – I tell them what they are going to dream. They usually sleep most of the day but they won’t go to their places until I’ve told them a dream” explained Lily.
“What dream did you tell them this morning?” asked Grandma as she changed knitting needles.
“I told them a not-so-nice dream this morning” said Lily guiltily.
“I couldn’t help it. I was mad at them for waking me so early and one of them had gotten under my sheets and was tickling my feet, and it’s hard when you’re really mad but you can’t stop laughing because no one takes you seriously – so I told them about going to the playground where everything was bright and shiny and exciting.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad dream at all” chuckled Grandma.
Lily squirmed then continued that the playground rides were all alive and loved to go too fast or swing too high and throw the children into the trees and that the slide would tip up and they would end up in the pond further down the hill.”
Lily looked out of the corner of her eye to see if Grandma thought she was a naughty girl. She could see that Grandma’s lips were tight. Sometimes that was good and sometimes not so good so she decided to wait and see. To her surprise Grandma asked if the Trollies were worried about this dream.
“No” Lily continued quickly. “Actually they jumped up and down even more and seemed to be saying something like “Just like home – just like home” but they’re so hard to understand sometimes. Once I pointed to the strange things they have on their heads. Kind of like one of your tea-cosys Grandma, but with a red nose thing where the pompom should be and asked what it was. I thought they were saying ‘hat’ but they were saying ‘pat’ and they seem to love me to pat them on their red noses. It makes them all giggly.”
Grandma stopped knitting and took off her glasses. Lily thought she was trying to work out if she was telling the truth or not. Instead she asked…
“Why do you suppose they go giggly when you pat them on their red noses?”
Lily blushed.
Grandma put her glasses back on and carried on knitting.
“Weeell” continued Lily “You know that year that Liam bought himself that silly whoopee cushion and drove everyone crazy with it?”
“Well the red noses are like whoopee cushions and make ‘that’ noise!” explained Lily who was obviously very embarrassed and not comfortable with ‘that’ noise at all.
Grandma had her tight lips again.
After a while she asked…“What are the whoopee noses for then Dear?”
Lily giggled. Grandma was so funny sometimes.
“They have them on their hat things to stop them from banging their heads.”
“Banging their heads on what?” asked Grandma
“On our floorboards which is their ceiling,” said Lily in a way that implied that surely that must be obvious.
“They have their places under our floorboards but because there’s not much room, they have to crouch down in places and the…” Lily hesitated and giggled “…whoopee nose noise isn’t as loud as when they hit their head and if we do hear the whoopee noise up here we always think it was someone else or Frisky making ‘that’ noise and nobody says anything” explained Lily.
“Oh – of course” said Grandma.
Grandma suspected it was about time Lily went to bed but before she sent her off to change into her pyjamas and clean her teeth, there was one more thing she wanted to ask.
“Lily darling” asked Grandma in what she hoped was her most casual voice.
“Yes Grandma?”
“Does one of the Trollies have a…”
“…green beard?” finished Lily
“Yes Grandma, and he talks about you often.”
2: Tipsy Topsy Turvy
The next day Lily was sitting carefully on her brick under the house drinking something and listening to one of Turvy’s stories. (She never was sure what the something drink would be each time but it always tasted nice and she didn’t really mind the little floaty bits. One time, though, she noticed the little floaty bits moving in rows and realised that whatever the floaty bits were they were having swimming races).
Turvy was telling her about when she first met Grandma. Grandma was only little and thought Turvy was a doll. She picked her up and when Turvy talked, Grandma got a fright and dropped her but luckily Turvy was a champion high jumper so she landed easily on her feet.
Turvy had just started to tell Lily about giving Grandma high jumping lessons when they heard the floorboards creak. That meant that Lily’s Dad was home and Lily had to go. She didn’t mind – her back was getting sore from bending over and she knew the little Trollies were about to wake up and she didn’t really like it when they pulled the hairs on her arms and legs which is what they always did when they were excited to see her.
She thanked Turvy for the drink and gave her back the eggcup.
As she squeezed through the hole in the floorboards she could hear her Dad knocking on her door.
She yelled out “COMING!”, put the loose floorboard back over the hole, crawled out from under her bed and opened her door.
Dad was standing in the hallway looking at the ceiling above the door as he often did when he had something on his mind which was most of the time.
“Oh, hello Dear – how has your day been?” asked Dad as he gave Lily a hug.
“Good Dad. I was just tidying my room” answered Lily casually.
“You must have the tidiest room in the neighbourhood!” exclaimed Dad
Lily remembered once when Grandma told her that most people who were born in September liked their rooms to be tidy. Liam was born in March and you couldn’t even see his floor!
“Where is Mummy?” asked Lily.
“Oh – that’s what I came in to tell you. Mum had to take Liam to soccer practice but she didn’t want to disturb you so she asked me to remind you to go and shut Grandma’s windows and turn her heater on for her. Would you do that Darling?”
“Sure – can I do it now?”
“Yes but don’t be too long, I need your help with dinner” said Dad over his shoulder as he headed down the hallway towards his study.
Lily skipped down the garden path to Grandma’s little cottage. Grandma called it the ‘Out House’ but for some reason she didn’t want Mum and Dad to know that.
“Hi Grandma” yelled Lily when she got to Grandma’s front door knowing she would be out the back in the sunroom doing her latest jigsaw puzzle. Grandma was always doing something. Lily loved it when she was doing a puzzle because she was allowed to help and sometimes she even got a piece to fit.
“Oh hello Dear. Is it time to shut up already?” asked Grandma. Lily suspected that Grandma was able to shut the windows and turn the heater on by herself but she had a feeling that Grandma liked her coming over anyway.
“Sure is,” said Lily as she started closing the windows.
She turned on the heater in the lounge and came back to look at Grandma’s puzzle. Some of the puzzles Grandma did made her laugh. This one was of a ski field and none of the people had clothes on and they were doing all sorts of funny things. Grandma didn’t seem to notice.
“Grandma – I was talking to Turvy today and she started telling me about giving you high jump lessons” said Lily as she tried a piece of the puzzle in a hole.
“Turvy? Who’s Turvy?” asked Grandma.
“Turvy is one of the Trollies. She’s the one with the foot that faces the other way and the missing teeth. I’ve heard some of the other Trollies call her Tipsy when she can’t hear but I only know her as Turvy” explained Lily.
“Oh, of course, I remember her” chuckled Grandma taking off her glasses and sitting down.
“When I was your age she was called Topsy because she was always climbing on top of things to practice her high jumping. In fact, that’s how she twisted her foot and lost her teeth. One day she decided to jump off the garden shed. She thought she was jumping onto a mound of dirt but it was a pile of junk with a brown cover over it that my father was about to get rid of. The poor dear! She never wanted to see anyone after that. She just hid away.
“I heard a few years later that she had taken to carrying her eggcup with her everywhere she went, and that’s never a good sign with Trolls and possibly where she got the name Tipsy!” finished Grandma.
She shuddered, put her glasses back on and went back to the puzzle.
She looked over at Lily.
“She hasn’t offered to give you high jump lessons has she Love?”
“No Grandma” Lily said feeling strangely relieved. Lily was still thinking about the eggcup, but she thought she might ask Grandma about that another time. Instead, she changed the subject.
“Edward Green Beard said you were mischief when you were my age, but he said he didn’t mind mischief because it showed intelligence. I can’t imagine you being mischief Grandma,” said Lily giggling.
Grandma’s lips went tight and she snorted.
“Mischief? Hah! He must be getting soft in his old age!”
“What do you mean Grandma?” asked Lily hoping she hadn’t got Ed G in trouble.
“Let’s just say that he had lots of names he used to call me but ‘mischief’ was not one of them” said Grandma in a voice that Lily knew could lead to a ‘grumpy’. She didn’t want Grandma to get in a grumpy so she went on quickly.
“Ed GB says you were a brave girl and that he will always be grateful to you for saving his beard”.
Grandma looked up from the puzzle and laughed, which made her seem lighter to Lily.
“Oh Edward and his beard! I have never met such a vain man as Edward!” chuckled Grandma.
“What’s vain Grandma?” asked Lily hoping Grandma wouldn’t get heavy again.
“Vain is when you are worried about what you look like and what others will think of you. Kind of like your Mother when she is going to one of her committee meetings” explained Grandma.
Lily knew exactly what she meant. Sometimes Mummy would have been gone for 10 minutes only to come back home to change her jacket or eyeshadow before she ‘felt right’. It drove Dad crazy.
But Mummy was pretty and Ed G was not what Lily would have called handsome (in her eyes anyway).
“How did you save his beard Grandma?” asked Lily.
Just as Grandma was about to say something they both heard her father calling her.
“Remind me to tell you another day Dear” said Grandma getting up.
“You’d better get going – you know how much your father needs help in the kitchen and we don’t need the fire brigade here again this week do we?”
Lily could tell that Grandma wanted some time to herself so she said
“OK Grandma. Maybe I could come over after school tomorrow and help you do some more of your puzzle?”
“That would be lovely Dear,” said Grandma as she opened the front door for Lily.
“Oh – and Lily”
“Yes Grandma?” said Lily
“Would it be too much trouble to pick up some chocolate for me on the way home from school tomorrow?” asked Grandma casually.
Lily was shocked but tried not to show it. She knew Grandma didn’t eat chocolate so it could only mean one thing! She needed the silver foil the chocolate was wrapped in to write a note to the Trollies.
Trying to appear as casual as Grandma, Lily said “No problem. See you then”
As she was about to leave she hesitated.
“What is it Dear?” asked Grandma.
“Oh – I was just wondering if you wanted me to get you a tooth pick to go with your chocolate?” asked Lily as if it was the most natural thing in the world to need a toothpick to go with chocolate.
“No thank you Dear – I’ve got my own” answered Grandma with her tight lips.
Lily thought she had better go now.
After she had left, Grandma went back into the cottage. Slowly she went to the old walnut box on the bottom shelf of the tea trolley in the kitchen. She took it into the lounge and sat down with it by the heater. After a while she opened it and felt around until she found what she was looking for.
A gold tooth pick.
How long had it been since she had written with it? 60 years?
She ran her thumb over the engraving. She had left her reading glasses in the sunroom but she already knew what it said.
~ In appreciation for saving my life. Edward G Beard Esquire ~
“Mischief indeed!”
“Well – that depends on who they are and what it is they are doing Dear” answered Grandma, looking over her glasses at Lily as she knitted Lily’s Christmas present.
“The Trollies, Grandma. They wake me up every morning jumping all over my bed and this morning was the earliest ever. You weren’t even up yet!”
“I’m not sure,” said Grandma slowly. “What do these Trolleys look like?”
“Trollies Grandma” corrected Lily “Like in Trolls, but they’re too nice to be called Trolls”.
“Trollies then, what do these Trollies look like?” asked Grandma again.
Lily scrunched up her nose the way she always did when she was trying to find a nice way of saying something impolite. Her Mother always said ‘If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all’.
“Weeell – they’ve got long thick hair that goes down to their feet and I think it must block their ears because they don’t seem to hear when I tell them to stop bouncing on me. Ummm – I’m sure their clothes are very fashionable in Trollie Land but they look odd to me and their skin looks like your old gardening gloves – I don’t think they know about moisturiser yet Grandma. And they must eat lots and drink whisky because they’ve all got tummies just like Uncle Jim’s. And you know how Antonia Plum’s nose doesn’t seem to fit her face? Well – their noses are kind of…”
“Bulbous?” suggested Grandma
“Yes, bowl-bus sounds like the right word” agreed Lily even though she didn’t know what it meant and only hoped it was a niceish word.
“How long have they been jumping on your bed Dear?” asked Grandma.
“Oh – only since just before my sixth birthday. Before that they used to stand under it and push up and down and it felt quite nice until one day they pushed so hard I fell onto the floor and they had to run and hide because Mummy came rushing in to see if I’d hurt myself. But I got the giggles because they look so funny when they run – kind of like Antonia’s little brother Timmy when his nappy is wet and falling down – all waddly kind of. Anyway – after that, they found a way of climbing on to my bed and they jump and jump until I wake up properly and promise to tell them a dream”.
“Tell them a dream?” asked Grandma. “Do you mean tell them what you have dreamt?”
“No – I tell them what they are going to dream. They usually sleep most of the day but they won’t go to their places until I’ve told them a dream” explained Lily.
“What dream did you tell them this morning?” asked Grandma as she changed knitting needles.
“I told them a not-so-nice dream this morning” said Lily guiltily.
“I couldn’t help it. I was mad at them for waking me so early and one of them had gotten under my sheets and was tickling my feet, and it’s hard when you’re really mad but you can’t stop laughing because no one takes you seriously – so I told them about going to the playground where everything was bright and shiny and exciting.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad dream at all” chuckled Grandma.
Lily squirmed then continued that the playground rides were all alive and loved to go too fast or swing too high and throw the children into the trees and that the slide would tip up and they would end up in the pond further down the hill.”
Lily looked out of the corner of her eye to see if Grandma thought she was a naughty girl. She could see that Grandma’s lips were tight. Sometimes that was good and sometimes not so good so she decided to wait and see. To her surprise Grandma asked if the Trollies were worried about this dream.
“No” Lily continued quickly. “Actually they jumped up and down even more and seemed to be saying something like “Just like home – just like home” but they’re so hard to understand sometimes. Once I pointed to the strange things they have on their heads. Kind of like one of your tea-cosys Grandma, but with a red nose thing where the pompom should be and asked what it was. I thought they were saying ‘hat’ but they were saying ‘pat’ and they seem to love me to pat them on their red noses. It makes them all giggly.”
Grandma stopped knitting and took off her glasses. Lily thought she was trying to work out if she was telling the truth or not. Instead she asked…
“Why do you suppose they go giggly when you pat them on their red noses?”
Lily blushed.
Grandma put her glasses back on and carried on knitting.
“Weeell” continued Lily “You know that year that Liam bought himself that silly whoopee cushion and drove everyone crazy with it?”
“Well the red noses are like whoopee cushions and make ‘that’ noise!” explained Lily who was obviously very embarrassed and not comfortable with ‘that’ noise at all.
Grandma had her tight lips again.
After a while she asked…“What are the whoopee noses for then Dear?”
Lily giggled. Grandma was so funny sometimes.
“They have them on their hat things to stop them from banging their heads.”
“Banging their heads on what?” asked Grandma
“On our floorboards which is their ceiling,” said Lily in a way that implied that surely that must be obvious.
“They have their places under our floorboards but because there’s not much room, they have to crouch down in places and the…” Lily hesitated and giggled “…whoopee nose noise isn’t as loud as when they hit their head and if we do hear the whoopee noise up here we always think it was someone else or Frisky making ‘that’ noise and nobody says anything” explained Lily.
“Oh – of course” said Grandma.
Grandma suspected it was about time Lily went to bed but before she sent her off to change into her pyjamas and clean her teeth, there was one more thing she wanted to ask.
“Lily darling” asked Grandma in what she hoped was her most casual voice.
“Yes Grandma?”
“Does one of the Trollies have a…”
“…green beard?” finished Lily
“Yes Grandma, and he talks about you often.”
2: Tipsy Topsy Turvy
The next day Lily was sitting carefully on her brick under the house drinking something and listening to one of Turvy’s stories. (She never was sure what the something drink would be each time but it always tasted nice and she didn’t really mind the little floaty bits. One time, though, she noticed the little floaty bits moving in rows and realised that whatever the floaty bits were they were having swimming races).
Turvy was telling her about when she first met Grandma. Grandma was only little and thought Turvy was a doll. She picked her up and when Turvy talked, Grandma got a fright and dropped her but luckily Turvy was a champion high jumper so she landed easily on her feet.
Turvy had just started to tell Lily about giving Grandma high jumping lessons when they heard the floorboards creak. That meant that Lily’s Dad was home and Lily had to go. She didn’t mind – her back was getting sore from bending over and she knew the little Trollies were about to wake up and she didn’t really like it when they pulled the hairs on her arms and legs which is what they always did when they were excited to see her.
She thanked Turvy for the drink and gave her back the eggcup.
As she squeezed through the hole in the floorboards she could hear her Dad knocking on her door.
She yelled out “COMING!”, put the loose floorboard back over the hole, crawled out from under her bed and opened her door.
Dad was standing in the hallway looking at the ceiling above the door as he often did when he had something on his mind which was most of the time.
“Oh, hello Dear – how has your day been?” asked Dad as he gave Lily a hug.
“Good Dad. I was just tidying my room” answered Lily casually.
“You must have the tidiest room in the neighbourhood!” exclaimed Dad
Lily remembered once when Grandma told her that most people who were born in September liked their rooms to be tidy. Liam was born in March and you couldn’t even see his floor!
“Where is Mummy?” asked Lily.
“Oh – that’s what I came in to tell you. Mum had to take Liam to soccer practice but she didn’t want to disturb you so she asked me to remind you to go and shut Grandma’s windows and turn her heater on for her. Would you do that Darling?”
“Sure – can I do it now?”
“Yes but don’t be too long, I need your help with dinner” said Dad over his shoulder as he headed down the hallway towards his study.
Lily skipped down the garden path to Grandma’s little cottage. Grandma called it the ‘Out House’ but for some reason she didn’t want Mum and Dad to know that.
“Hi Grandma” yelled Lily when she got to Grandma’s front door knowing she would be out the back in the sunroom doing her latest jigsaw puzzle. Grandma was always doing something. Lily loved it when she was doing a puzzle because she was allowed to help and sometimes she even got a piece to fit.
“Oh hello Dear. Is it time to shut up already?” asked Grandma. Lily suspected that Grandma was able to shut the windows and turn the heater on by herself but she had a feeling that Grandma liked her coming over anyway.
“Sure is,” said Lily as she started closing the windows.
She turned on the heater in the lounge and came back to look at Grandma’s puzzle. Some of the puzzles Grandma did made her laugh. This one was of a ski field and none of the people had clothes on and they were doing all sorts of funny things. Grandma didn’t seem to notice.
“Grandma – I was talking to Turvy today and she started telling me about giving you high jump lessons” said Lily as she tried a piece of the puzzle in a hole.
“Turvy? Who’s Turvy?” asked Grandma.
“Turvy is one of the Trollies. She’s the one with the foot that faces the other way and the missing teeth. I’ve heard some of the other Trollies call her Tipsy when she can’t hear but I only know her as Turvy” explained Lily.
“Oh, of course, I remember her” chuckled Grandma taking off her glasses and sitting down.
“When I was your age she was called Topsy because she was always climbing on top of things to practice her high jumping. In fact, that’s how she twisted her foot and lost her teeth. One day she decided to jump off the garden shed. She thought she was jumping onto a mound of dirt but it was a pile of junk with a brown cover over it that my father was about to get rid of. The poor dear! She never wanted to see anyone after that. She just hid away.
“I heard a few years later that she had taken to carrying her eggcup with her everywhere she went, and that’s never a good sign with Trolls and possibly where she got the name Tipsy!” finished Grandma.
She shuddered, put her glasses back on and went back to the puzzle.
She looked over at Lily.
“She hasn’t offered to give you high jump lessons has she Love?”
“No Grandma” Lily said feeling strangely relieved. Lily was still thinking about the eggcup, but she thought she might ask Grandma about that another time. Instead, she changed the subject.
“Edward Green Beard said you were mischief when you were my age, but he said he didn’t mind mischief because it showed intelligence. I can’t imagine you being mischief Grandma,” said Lily giggling.
Grandma’s lips went tight and she snorted.
“Mischief? Hah! He must be getting soft in his old age!”
“What do you mean Grandma?” asked Lily hoping she hadn’t got Ed G in trouble.
“Let’s just say that he had lots of names he used to call me but ‘mischief’ was not one of them” said Grandma in a voice that Lily knew could lead to a ‘grumpy’. She didn’t want Grandma to get in a grumpy so she went on quickly.
“Ed GB says you were a brave girl and that he will always be grateful to you for saving his beard”.
Grandma looked up from the puzzle and laughed, which made her seem lighter to Lily.
“Oh Edward and his beard! I have never met such a vain man as Edward!” chuckled Grandma.
“What’s vain Grandma?” asked Lily hoping Grandma wouldn’t get heavy again.
“Vain is when you are worried about what you look like and what others will think of you. Kind of like your Mother when she is going to one of her committee meetings” explained Grandma.
Lily knew exactly what she meant. Sometimes Mummy would have been gone for 10 minutes only to come back home to change her jacket or eyeshadow before she ‘felt right’. It drove Dad crazy.
But Mummy was pretty and Ed G was not what Lily would have called handsome (in her eyes anyway).
“How did you save his beard Grandma?” asked Lily.
Just as Grandma was about to say something they both heard her father calling her.
“Remind me to tell you another day Dear” said Grandma getting up.
“You’d better get going – you know how much your father needs help in the kitchen and we don’t need the fire brigade here again this week do we?”
Lily could tell that Grandma wanted some time to herself so she said
“OK Grandma. Maybe I could come over after school tomorrow and help you do some more of your puzzle?”
“That would be lovely Dear,” said Grandma as she opened the front door for Lily.
“Oh – and Lily”
“Yes Grandma?” said Lily
“Would it be too much trouble to pick up some chocolate for me on the way home from school tomorrow?” asked Grandma casually.
Lily was shocked but tried not to show it. She knew Grandma didn’t eat chocolate so it could only mean one thing! She needed the silver foil the chocolate was wrapped in to write a note to the Trollies.
Trying to appear as casual as Grandma, Lily said “No problem. See you then”
As she was about to leave she hesitated.
“What is it Dear?” asked Grandma.
“Oh – I was just wondering if you wanted me to get you a tooth pick to go with your chocolate?” asked Lily as if it was the most natural thing in the world to need a toothpick to go with chocolate.
“No thank you Dear – I’ve got my own” answered Grandma with her tight lips.
Lily thought she had better go now.
After she had left, Grandma went back into the cottage. Slowly she went to the old walnut box on the bottom shelf of the tea trolley in the kitchen. She took it into the lounge and sat down with it by the heater. After a while she opened it and felt around until she found what she was looking for.
A gold tooth pick.
How long had it been since she had written with it? 60 years?
She ran her thumb over the engraving. She had left her reading glasses in the sunroom but she already knew what it said.
~ In appreciation for saving my life. Edward G Beard Esquire ~
“Mischief indeed!”
